the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
high people should be assigned attendants
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
