i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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