I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
