So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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