I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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