Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
