Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
