OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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