why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
