last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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