The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
