Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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