Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
