Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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