Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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