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• (415): View more from California

  my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"

  (650): View more from California

  LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.

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• 

  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay

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• (806): View more from Texas

  There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.

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• (415): View more from California

  Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians

  (1-415): View more from California

  Does the penis have a genital wart?

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• (714): View more from California

  I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?

  (1-714): View more from California

  Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?

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