Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married

  (214): View more from Texas

  What? They have three kids?

  (512): View more from Texas

  Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me

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  (512): So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married (214): What? They have three kids? (512): Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me http://tfl.nu/93bk
  Replies (20) Good night (997) Bad night (6186)
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  (323): View more from California

  I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.

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  (323): I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom. http://tfl.nu/rbnh
  Replies (120) Good night (1783) Bad night (46043)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...

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  (360): I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something... http://tfl.nu/7h7f
  Replies (21) Good night (7199) Bad night (1321)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.

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  (918): He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day. http://tfl.nu/2bxp
  Replies (5) Good night (4082) Bad night (1139)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty

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  (505): koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty http://tfl.nu/dl5w
  Replies (29) Good night (1670) Bad night (4287)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Naked Twister starts at high noon

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  (913): Naked Twister starts at high noon http://tfl.nu/ka5x
  Replies (16) Good night (2270) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob

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  (440): I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob http://tfl.nu/pg2m
  Replies (13) Good night (2864) Bad night (729)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now

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  (507): you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now http://tfl.nu/xehl
  Replies (9) Good night (3257) Bad night (1257)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.

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  (206): Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear. http://tfl.nu/poja
  Replies (9) Good night (1404) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.

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  (717): We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes. http://tfl.nu/zq4p
  Replies (5) Good night (2081) Bad night (662)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.

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  (702): Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos. http://tfl.nu/ooli
  Replies (5) Good night (390) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic

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  (973): He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic http://tfl.nu/cjxw
  Replies (4) Good night (779) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions

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  (513): He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions http://tfl.nu/8lj3
  Replies (1) Good night (638) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!

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  (618): When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK" (1-618): As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever! http://tfl.nu/gtn1
  Replies (4) Good night (1290) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA

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  (224): I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA http://tfl.nu/rnzu
  Replies (2) Good night (447) Bad night (326)

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