grandma shit on top of the toilet
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants