is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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