Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
