so explain again why im purple
no
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
