I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
