hotel room ftw
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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