Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
My feet surprised me
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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