How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize