Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
