Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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