Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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