I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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