I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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