Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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