i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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