is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
