I accidentally had phone sex last night
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
