And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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