It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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