we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you inspire me to be a worse person
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
