Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
