Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
