there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
