Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"