I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.