dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
