the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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