lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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