I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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