OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
