He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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