Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
