I wish I could punch you in the face.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize
