yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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