Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
