Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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