The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
