this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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