Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
