Buhtt sex?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Hippo gnu deer
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
