He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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