Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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