Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
